Trick or Trailers: Saw 3D (2010)

Whether you like the Saw films or not, there's no arguing that the Saw series has earned its place in horror history. Over seven films, it became the first major horror franchise of the new millennium.

Honestly, they never did much for me - although I give credit to 2006's Saw III for actually making me feel physically ill at a horror movie for the first time in forever and 2009's Saw VI for weaving an intriguingly topical health insurance angle into the Jigsaw saga. Then there's 2010's Saw 3D, which gave the series a big 3D send off.

Saw 3D definitely had the coolest trailer for any of the Saws, pouring on some extra cheese in order to exploit the 3D. I didn't love it as much as the trailer for the My Bloody Valentine remake...



...but it's good.

Even though it was only three years ago, the content of Saw 3D has pretty much passed from my memory. Still love the trailer, though!

2009: The Return of 'Fun' Horror?

With early impressions of Sam Raimi's Drag Me To Hell trumpeting it as a victorious return to the genre for Raimi - a film that sports the trademark camera moves and gonzo sensibilities of his earlier horror films - it looks like fans will have a good time to look forward to this May when Drag Me To Hell hits theaters.

But Drag Me To Hell isn't alone in reviving 'fun' horror this year. If 2009 can be characterized as having an overriding trend, its that horror seems to be hearkening back to the crowd-pleasing era of the '80s. My Bloody Valentine 3-D was one of the best times I've had in a theater in awhile - an unabashed, gore-soaked thrill ride that had no illusions about what it's audience wanted to see. And next month sees the return of '80s superstar Jason Voorhees in the Friday the 13th remake and from all indications it looks like the filmmakers have endeavored to make this a fast-paced roller coaster ride that cuts straight to Jason in action, rather than follow in the footsteps of Rob Zombie's reinvention of Halloween where a long ramp-up of a psychoanalytical backstory was provided.

Later in 2009 - besides Drag Me To Hell - there's Final Destination: Death Trip 3-D, which ought to give My Bloody Valentine 3-D a run for its money. Then there's the Wolf Man remake, which should be old-fashioned monster movie fun, Richard Kelly's The Box, which looks to be an oddball horror offering with its kitchy '70s setting, and Wes Craven's still-untitled latest, which might be just as satisfying a return to his roots as Drag Me To Hell is for Raimi. What isn't on the horizon for 2009 - save for the Last House on the Left remake and Saw VI - is anything in the way of torture porn or the kind of deliberately grim offerings that have dominated the genre in the later half of this decade. If this is the trend for the foreseeable future, I'm all for it.

The dreary era of Hostel and Saw hasn't done much for me. There's been good films during the last few years but mostly of the arthouse variety (Let The Right One In, The Orphanage) while the general direction of popular horror hasn't thrilled me much. The few films of recent years that have tried to revive a lighter, '80s style of horror - like Slither and Snakes on a Plane - have failed to draw an audience. But maybe this'll finally be the year that horror finds its gory groove again.

Don't Take Your Pick-Axe For Granted

In the original 1981 My Bloody Valentine, the filmmakers followed the then-current mandate of slasher cinema in that psychos weren't allowed to stick to just one weapon. Instead they had to improvise completely new moves for each victim. It was like a carnage challenge - "Ok maniac, you can only use the existing items in this ordinary kitchen to accomplish a kill. Will it be the potato peeler, the cheese grater, or the meat thermometer?" Even though the original MBV's killer started a body count with a perfectly good pick-axe, the trends of the time demanded that he forget that and grab a nail gun or shove a dude's face in a pot of boiling water.

My Bloody Valentine 3-D doesn't go that route, though. Instead, in MBV 3-D, they show just how creative you can get with just one weapon at your disposal. I totally lost track of the body count in this movie 'cause it was so enormous but I know that a pick-axe was responsible for each and every slain sucker. Pick-axe mayhem has never been so dramatically depicted on film as it is here. If a murder weapon could have its own infomercial, this would be it. I even think at one point in MBV 3-D, the pick-axe got behind the wheel of a car shit-faced drunk and killed a few people on the road. It never stops finding ways to take a life.

People always associate Friday the 13th's Jason with his machete but while Jason always goes back to that blade, he never totally commits to it. MBV 3-D throws down a professional challenge to other slashers to develop a monogamous relationship with their weapon. Most slashers are like men afraid of marriage - they want to have that steady relationship to fall back on but they also want to be free to play the field. They're afraid that if they just use the axe all the time, or the machete, or the butcher knife that life is going to get stale. MBV 3-D retires that myth and says to other slashers that it's only insecurity that keeps you reaching for the next power drill or set of gardening shears. If you never bond with that one special weapon, you're never going to be complete. And that's its own kind of Hell.

Any slasher can use a weapon once and leave it behind but to find one that you refuse to kill without, then sir, you've got something special. In fact, after multiple rampages you might be surprised to find your weapon has taken on a mind of its own.

And when that happens, well, don't let go until they pry it from your cold, dead hands.

My Bloody Valentine 3-D

If you're on the fence about whether you need to see My Bloody Valentine 3-D, then you must not be the target audience to begin with. It's not the kind of movie you need to see how it fares during awards season before committing to the price of a ticket - either it sounds like a good time to you or it doesn't. But for those old-school slasher fans out there who are wondering if this really delivers the goods, I can attest to you that it does and then some. I don't have time for a longer review at the moment and really, this movie may not need it. The 3-D is incredible here. The depth of the image, the feeling of immersion in the environments - it's first-rate. Then there's the gimmicky 3-D moments that you want this movie to have and they all come off great, showing some real ingenuity and showmanship. And as a slasher movie, My Bloody Valentine 3-D has an impeccable handle on itself. Scripter Todd Farmer and director Patrick Lussier are a couple of canny dudes when it comes to the slasher genre. They embrace it all the way with no hint of irony and slasher aficionados will recognize the sensibilities of fellow fans.

I do wish the climax had one more beat to it but I'm guessing on second viewing that minor disappointment will dissipate, and there's a major cheat at play in regards to the reveal of the film's mystery but I ain't going to bust the filmmakers for it - in fact, I kind of enjoyed being had. Like most everything else in this film, it put a goofy grin on my face (when I wasn't bursting into spontaneous laughter or surprised shrieks). My Bloody Valentine 3-D scores a four pick-axe rating from me. If this is an indication of how the slasher movie revival of this year is going to play out (and the 3-D revival!), consider me excited. Travel as far as you need to see this in 3-D - because such sights as a midget annihilated by a pick-axe deserve nothing less.