Showing posts with label Pitchforks. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Pitchforks. Show all posts

Monday, October 12, 2009

The Right Snuff

To speak nostalgically of ‘movie magic’ usually conjures up thoughts of the wizardry associated with pioneering special effects geniuses like Willis O’Brien or Ray Harryhausen. But during the slasher boom of 1978 to 1983, advances in practical make-up FX made it possible for artists to slice, dice, burn, bleed, puncture and purée the human form in the most convincing manner possible.

Make-up maestro Tom Savini was the undeniable superstar of the splatter era, becoming a household name among households with FANGORIA subscriptions, and although this tale of a killer stalking a graduation dance doesn't have the same iconic status as Dawn of the Dead (1978) or Friday the 13th (1980), with The Prowler (1981) Savini delivered arguably the most ghoulishly convincing FX of his career.

While Savini is revered among slasher buffs for depicting the slaughtering ways of Mrs. Voorhees and her mad mongoloid offspring Jason, The Prowler is where he really got brutal. First off, in The Prowler the killer uses a pitchfork - and nothing tells the audience that a slasher villain is serious about killing like giving them a pitchfork. When a killer uses a pitchfork, it’s understood that they’re hardcore. You don’t see it used a lot in The Prowler but when that pitchfork is put into play – as in the film’s centerpiece shower murder in which the Prowler attacks actress Lisa Dunsheath – it’s the stuff of slasher legend.

The prospect of pitchforking a nude woman might’ve made lesser men pause (or to work under pseudonyms) but director Joe Zito and Savini embrace the opportunity. No doubt there were easy techniques behind this effect (as there was with many of Savini's effects, which often took their cues from stage magic) but Savini and Zito do an expert job of selling the illusion (after Dunsheath is impaled, we hear the tips of the pitchfork scraping against the tile of the shower wall), making this an unforgettably ghastly scene. While not every slasher victim of the early ‘80s had the luxury of being able to simply gasp at the sight of their off-screen assailant (like Friday the 13th’s Laurie Bartram) before the filmmakers discreetly cut away to the next scene, this isn’t even as elegant as Robbi Morgan having her throat slashed or Jeannine Taylor receiving an axe to the head. No, even in a slasher film when a naked woman is impaled by a pitchfork and jacked up off her feet against a shower wall, an invisible line of etiquette has been breached.

Even more manners are decimated by the film’s second-most legendary effect, a climatic shotgun blast to the head. Savini was something of an expert head exploder in his FX heyday, first depicting a shotgun blast to the head in Dawn of the Dead (as a zealous S.W.A.T. member shoots a zombie point blank), then doing the same in 1980's Maniac (Savini blew his own head apart here, portraying a guy out for a night at the disco who runs afoul of a shotgun wielding Joe Spinell), and in The Prowler an instance of cranial carnage serves as the film’s final coup de grace. Some might cry that The Prowler’s exploding head is just a case of Savini repeating his past tricks but when something’s good, it’s good.

Savini’s work in The Prowler is so good, in fact, that he even makes the film’s two throat slashings memorable – no small feat given that by 1981, these were already the most commonplace of slasher movie kills. Seeing a character get their throat slashed in a slasher film was about as remarkable as seeing a character in an old-time Western get shot in the gut and keel over but Savini challenges discerning gorehounds to shop and compare, delivering premium throat-slashings with outrageous super soaker action.

Unfortunately, the pacing of The Prowler could’ve been improved, with too much time separating the already sparse number of kills (a half-hour between kills in a slasher movie is too long) and it was also a bad decision on the part of Zito and screenwriters Neal Barbera and Glenn Leopold to pair the film’s heroine, aspiring journalist Pam MacDonald (the fetching Vicky Dawson) with her deputy boyfriend (Christopher Goutman) for almost all of her scenes so there’s very little of her in solo jeopardy – with a scene of Pam hiding under a bed as the enraged killer trashes the room searching for her (almost identical to a scene from the same year's Friday the 13th Part 2, even down to the appearance of a rat scurrying next to the heroine’s face) being an effective exception. Also, while most slasher films with a whodunit angle at least tried to give the audience a range of plausible suspects who could be the killer, the identity of the Prowler is by far the most lamely transparent of all slasher movie mysteries.

Still, Savini is so 100% on his game here that those flaws ultimately don’t matter. Despite their reputations, very few old-school slasher films are especially graphic. The Prowler, however, is a grisly exception to that. Savini may be most celebrated for his contributions to the zombie classics Dawn of the Dead and Day of the Dead (1985) – films with FX far more elaborate than seen in Savini’s slasher films, which had to strive for a greater sense of plausibility (and usually strive for an R-rating as well) – but The Prowler features signature work from the Sultan of Splatter.

It's often been said by critics that if you’ve seen one slasher film, you’ve seen them all. But if there’s a mantra to the slasher genre, it’s that it’s not the weapon you use to kill a character (a shish—ka-bob, a hot poker, a pitchfork), it’s how you stick it in. And with its uncomfortably convincing realism, Savini’s work in The Prowler still has the right snuff.

Saturday, September 12, 2009

Five Slasher Remakes That MUST Happen Before The World Ends

Most people would say that the last thing we need is more horror remakes. And even less than horror remakes in general, most would say what we can specifically do without is more slasher remakes. But those who say that are wrong. Sadly, criminally, wrong. What we need, in fact, is more slasher remakes - five more, to be exact.

I know that the remakes of Halloween and Friday the 13th scored mixed-to-shitty results. And Prom Night wasn't many people's idea of a good time. And April Fool's Day didn't even get to any theaters. But because I personally enjoyed My Bloody Valentine 3-D and Sorority Row, I have to insist that the slasher remakes keep coming!

Of course I'd also like to see Hollywood spend some time making original horror films, but if remakes are going to continue to be made, then I've got five choice candidates that I'd like to see someone take a shot at. Before you call me crazy, irresponsible, or just sad, give my picks a look and see if you aren't convinced.

5. The Funhouse (1981)
This Tobe Hooper gem is one of his most underrated films (with an exciting climax that nearly ranks with the end of Texas Chainsaw, for me). But for a lot of people, even back when Funhouse was released, it was a case of "man, nothing happens in this movie!" And it's true that The Funhouse has a long build-up that many viewers find ridiculously protracted. Personally, I love it - I love all the time Hooper spends on these kids just wandering the carnival grounds, checking out oddities like pickled cleft-headed cow fetuses and what not (and I've got to give a shout-out to William Finley as Marco the Magnificient!). But I think the world is ready for a more balls-out Funhouse. Hell, they've been ready for almost thirty years now. I read that Eli Roth may be producing a remake of this and that sounds about right to me. I love what Funhouse is but I'd like to see the movie that many people wanted to see out of this premise but didn't.


4. The Burning (1981)
While I love Friday the 13th, I don't think it deserves to have a monopoly on the summer camp slaughter industry. Especially as the series hasn't had any campers or camp counselors being stalked since Jason Lives in '86. The films have long left the trappings of summer camp behind (even though the remake took place partially on the old camp grounds it had nothing really to do with Camp Crystal Lake) and to me, that's kind of bullshit. Because of this, we need The Burning to make summer camp a bloodbath again. Friday the 13th can sidestep the whole summer camp thing as long as they have kids in the woods but The Burning is all about camp. And while the original Burning has some good moments, I think that a better Burning is very possible. The first film is awkward where it should be building tension and it doesn't even have a Final Girl. Instead it has a Final Douche Bag, who's this kind of Peeping Tom dumb-ass who gets deservedly pushed around. So does a new Burning sound good? It sounds damn hot, is what I think!


3. Pieces (1982)
Now, Pieces is a special case. Remaking this film would be like trying to remake Plan 9 from Outer Space. What makes Pieces great is how terrible it is and you can't try to fake or recreate that kind of awfulness. However, I believe that chainsaw mayhem is so woefully underrepresented that any excuse to have a chainsaw wielding maniac on screen must be taken. And what's more, a Pieces remake needs to be Pieces 3-D. I can already see the poster with a chainsaw coming right off the screen (the original poster already has a 3-D vibe of it's own, don't you think?). It doesn't matter that no one knows the original Pieces. If you put Pieces 3-D in theaters, it'll be a number one movie, guaranteed.


2. The Prowler
While the maniac of this film was a romantically spurned WWII vet, still nursing a grudge over the girl that dumped him while he was serving his country, an update of The Prowler would probably have to go with a Vietnam vet. And with that, we're already we're talking about a new category of scary. Or maybe the war veteran angle could be dropped altogether. What's really important about The Prowler is that it's called The Prowler - which, for my money, is one of the all-time great slasher movie titles. When you hear The Prowler, it's evocative of everyday, real-world creepiness. You know that The Prowler isn't Jason or Freddy, but some guy lurking around your bushes (they don't actually call The Prowler "the prowler" during the course of the original movie but the remake can rectify that - you can't forget to properly brand your maniacs!). Oh, and he still has to have a pitchfork because that's the other great thing about The Prowler - the guy uses a pitchfork. Yeah, he busts out a knife too, but the pitchfork is what sticks in my mind. Say, can we use 3-D with The Prowler, too? I don't know - which would be better in 3-D? A chainsaw or a pitchfork? Shit, my head's gonna explode!

1. Curtains
Why this movie must be remade is that it has one of the all-time scariest slasher movie moments where a young woman is skating on a frozen pond as a killer wearing an old hag mask skates towards her in broad daylight with a scythe in hand. This scene is great (how the killer skates across the entire pond to pursue this girl, rather than sneaking up on her in a less open area, is what's striking about it) but I always felt it needed to belong to a much better movie! The storyline of Curtains, with a group of actresses at a remote home all competing for a part in a movie (with one actress breaking out of an asylum to join the party), isn't bad (today, it'd be a reality show) but while it does have its moments (well, one great one, at least), the opportunity to make "the ultimate nightmare," as the ads promised, is still there. Oh, and a creepy, sad-faced doll also figures into the M.O. of Curtains' killer and creepy, sad-faced dolls are an evergreen source of terror.

If these all sound like awful ideas to you, well, so be it. I'm sure we can find common ground elsewhere. But honestly, wouldn't it just be easier to agree with me that Pieces 3-D sounds awesome?