In Space, No One Can Hear You Scream

In Scream 4, the film kicks off with spoofs of the fictitious Stab series - the films within the Scream films. Apparently, in the Scream-verse, Stab has chugged along to something like seven or eight installments. Unfortunately, unlike Stab's witty recreation of the events of the first Scream wherein Heather Graham was substituted for Drew Barrymore's character and Tori Spelling for Neve Campbell and the restaged scenes were given a glossy Hollywood horror sheen, the clips of these later-day Stab sequels prove to be soggy spoof material. Mostly they're just there to set up a pair of fake-outs as we think we're watching the opening of Scream 4 with two female friends alone in a house being stalked by Ghostface only to have it revealed that it's a Stab sequel and then the gag is repeated again with another pair of potential victims before Scream 4 properly begins.

The content of these mock Stab sequels is so banal, it made me wish that Wes Craven and Kevin Williamson would've tried to have some real fun in imagining where the phony Stab series might have progressed. If only they had seized on the starry precedent set by Hellraiser: Bloodline, Leprechaun 4: In Space, and Jason X and gave their bogus Stab sequel an out-of-this-world setting. Even John Carpenter had once lobbied for a Halloween sequel in which the indestructible Michael Myers would be shot into space (whether he really thought that was a good idea or if he was purposely out to undermine the series, who knows?) so taking a horror franchise out of earthly orbit is enough of a reoccurring theme to warrant spoofing. Yes, it would've meant that the fake-out scares of Scream 4 would've had to go by the wayside but I believe it would have been a worthy sacrifice.

Seeing Ghostface lurking on a space station would've been a wonderfully cheesy way to kick off Scream 4. And honestly, I wouldn't have minded if it had been the real story to Scream 4, either. It would've been ridiculous, yes, but I have to say I miss the days when horror sequels would stray into strange, misguided territory. Back in the day, it frustrated me to see a phony Jason behind the hockey mask or to see the real Jason fighting a telekinetic teen or stalking Times Square or to have the Halloween series derailed by the odd mythology of the Cult of the Thorn (having already been really derailed by the machinations of crazed mask maker Conal Cochran) but in hindsight I appreciate the room for spontaneity that existed then. As inept as some of those sequels were, and as much as they showed a deep misunderstanding of the creative properties involved, I miss the willingness to deviate from the program.

In the '80s and '90s, there wasn't much thought as to whether fans might be affronted or outraged by the direction of a sequel but the keepers of today's franchises always stay on script (with the sole exception being the Child's Play films, but that series has sadly been on hold since 2004's under appreciated Seed of Chucky).

The Saw films never took any zany detours (no Jigsaw Goes To Washington, for example) and likewise, for however long the series lasts you'll never see Paranormal Activity spring any surprises on viewers. At least the Final Destination films can keep ballooning its set-pieces to increasingly absurd levels but in general, the days of horror franchises doing anything to challenge or test their base are over. Walking out of a movie like Jason Goes to Hell, I would've told you that's what I always wanted but I'm not so sure anymore.

Being too cautious is ultimately what gutted Scream 4. I enjoyed it myself but as I said in my review, it's a movie that favors the old guard over the new blood and horror is always about new blood. That's how it's continued to survive. As confounding as some of the horror sequels of the past were, in hindsight I like that they only followed formula to a point. It's true that most of the creative leaps those sequels took didn't pay off but at least the attempts were memorable. It's easy to tell one Friday the 13th from the other - but can anyone other than the most attentive Saw fan tell those sequels apart?

While the box office for Scream 4 on its opening weekend wasn't exactly dismal, it was definitely lackluster compared to its predecessors. The series now ironically finds itself in the same position of the '80s warhorses it used to mock - a once thriving franchise whose audience has shrunk. If another Scream comes around, maybe they'll decide to throw caution to the wind and set their sights a little higher.

Like, maybe as high as the moon even.

The Town That Dreaded Sundown

For a film referred to by many as a modern horror classic, the original Scream doesn't get much love from the horror community. Fans of the slasher sub-genre are an especially rabid bunch but they just don't have room in their hearts for Scream. Go to any horror convention and try to find anyone sporting a Scream T-shirt. You'll see plenty of fans proudly wearing their Halloween T's and even third-tier slashers like The Prowler and The Burning are represented but Scream? Forget it. I just wonder how well Scream would rank with horror fans had it never become such a hit. I'll wager a guess that we'd be hearing a lot of "man, people just didn't get that movie - you had to be a horror fan to really understand it!" whenever Scream was talked about.

But of course they can't say that because Scream was an enormous hit - a great word of mouth success that introduced a new legion of fans to the genre. Everyone has their own "gateway drug" that got them into horror and for many, Scream served that purpose. But is it a good movie unfairly dismissed by hardcore horror buffs or just a painfully overrated exercise in smartassedness? A little of both but ultimately I'd say more towards the former than the later.


The worst thing about Scream is the aspect that brought it the most critical acclaim and notoriety - its self-referential, film-savvy dialogue. Critics (who, by and large, hate horror films) latched onto this aspect of Scream and used it to intellectually justify their enjoyment of what would otherwise be just another slasher film. But scripter Kevin Williamson, using the character of film nerd/video store clerk Randy (Jamie Kennedy) as his mouthpiece to explain the "rules" for surviving a horror movie, shows himself to be a lazy study of the genre.

Among the several rules that Randy tries to educate his peers about, the much-touted "virgin" rule holds no water. It's a myth that needs to be put to rest. I know that many have read John Carpenter's Halloween as some kind of essay on puritanical values with Jamie Lee Curtis' virginal babysitter Laurie Strode surviving where her more ho-ish friends did not. However, while one could perceive an underlying irony to the fact that Laurie is a repressed character who aggressively attacks her assailant with phallic instruments, it's a stretch to say it's anything more than a plot convenience to have Michael's victims preoccupied with fucking or with planning to fuck and it sure as hell didn't create some kind of hardline "rule" for subsequent slasher movies.

Even Friday the 13th, the other big flag bearer for the "have sex and die" school of thought, doesn't adhere to that rule. Laurie Bartram as Marcie was way more of a "good girl" in that film than Adrienne King's Alice was. Hell, Marcie was in bed by herself reading a book when Mrs. Voorhees lured her out for the kill. And come on, Ned's death alone immediately torpedoes the virgin rule. And Shelly in Friday the 13th Part 3? That guy got no action and he still ended up stone cold dead. One might argue that there's a sub-clause to the virgin rule reserved for practical jokers but Scream fails to address that possibility.

And before we move away from this topic altogether, let's just say that it's unconfirmed that Jamie Lee Curtis always played the virgin in slasher films. Not to be lewd about it but I'd argue that her characters in Prom Night, Terror Train and Road Games were far from being the same sort of virginal wallflower that Laurie Strode represented. So Scream's biggest convention-smashing moment, where Sidney (Neve Campbell) gives it up for Billy (Skeet Ulrich) and thereby makes herself into a potential victim, can't be considered to be a radical reinvention of slasher cinema or a liberating blow for Final Girls wherein they can now be sexually active but still achieve survivor status. I mean, fifteen years before Scream, Ginny (Amy Steel) in Friday the 13th Part 2 not only slept with her boyfriend but went out and got tanked at a local bar and still lived to tell the tale so it's annoying to read interviews with Williamson where he pats himself on the back for breaking the rules of the slasher genre. You can fool critics about this shit but not real horror nerds, man.

It's my feeling that Williamson should've really boned up on his slasher films before writing Scream - you know, bothered to take the time to give himself a little refresher course - but as Scream made him rich and famous and the toast of the town and all that, maybe it wasn't so important.

As a send-up or deconstruction of slasher cliches, I think Scream is a big bust. However, it gets other things right. For one, Wes Craven's direction is at the top of his game. This was the first film he shot in widescreen and he utilized the framing to excellent effect.


His direction feels energized here and one almost wishes that this could have been his farewell to the genre as it's a real high note to his career with the murders of Casey (Drew Barrymore) and Tatum (Rose McGowan) being classic set-pieces.


The cast is also outstanding. In past slasher films, there'd be a breakout performer or two that stood out as someone to take note of but Scream's cast is filled with sharp actors - Neve Campbell, Skeet Ulrich, Matthew Lillard, Jamie Kennedy, Rose McGowan, Drew Barrymore, Courtney Cox, and David Arquette. I may find some of the characters grating (particularly the morose Sidney, with her perpetually pinched expression) but I couldn't argue that the performances were lacking (although it could be said that Arquette's comic tendencies should've been reined in some as they throw off the mood of the film on more than one occasion).


As for Williamson's script, while it gets a lot wrong in observing the genre, it succeeds on other fronts. Historically the bane of slasher films was always how to fill the time between kills. The answer to that was usually "have them do whatever." So as characters would wait for their turn to get slaughtered, if they weren't getting laid or getting high they'd be shown engaging in everything from Strip Monopoly, doing their laundry, skinny-dipping, or watching movie marathons on TV. Scream did away with that kind of wheel-spinning by adopting a more soap opera-ish approach - supplying Sidney with a tragic backstory involving her slain mother, thereby giving the characters a lot of plot information to convey and a ready antagonist in the form of tabloid TV journalist Gale Weathers. Sidney wasn't just an unassuming teenage girl like most slasher heroines - she was already the center of a media firestorm.

Unlike most slasher films of the past whose running times often felt padded, Scream truly moves. After the intense charge of the lengthy opening scene, the movie barely lets up and by the one hour mark, the characters have already arrived at Stu's house where the climax of the movie takes place. Essentially what follows is a forty-minute finale where the stakes are raised right off the bat with the murder of Sidney's BFF Tatum - a move that reminds the audience that no one is safe in this film - and then events quickly roll toward the final face-off between Sid and Ghostface and the resolution of the film's mystery.


The revelation of the killer's ID's is what really makes Scream. Not just the novelty factor of having the killer actually be two killers working together (a twist that let it be plausible that the killer could appear anywhere at anytime) but the fact that it was two peers of the characters and that their motivations were so purely sociopathic.

In past slasher films, the killer was either a figure of pure evil (like Michael Myers or Freddy Krueger) or else their rampages were rooted in some personal humiliation or injustice (Mrs. Voorhees and Jason, or the killers in The Burning, Terror Train, Prom Night, or The Funhouse). Also, you had the occasional sweaty loner - as seen in Don't Go In The House, He Knows You're Alone, Eyes of a Stranger, Maniac, and Visiting Hours. Scream was different from all other slasher films in that its killers were directly from the protagonist's own immediate social circle and that they were so devoid of empathy and humanity.

One might say that killing is killing and that it's all evil but while that's true there's a difference between a character that's depicted as being the Boogeyman and someone who's supposed to have a real world motivation. And on that other level, there's a difference between a character like Terror Train's Kenny Hampson and Scream's Billy Loomis and Stu Macher. Characters like Kenny and the other "wronged" slasher villains have a kernel of humanity to them. They commit heinous, unforgivable acts but on some level we're invited to understand their position as victims of some kind of abuse. Mrs. Voorhees is a nut but she's also avenging her dead child. Cropsy of The Burning is a murderous psycho but some snot-nosed kids burned him into a misshapen lump so he's understandably got issues. Prom Night's Alex Hammond witnessed his beloved sister's senseless death so his killing spree seems pretty justified. But Billy and Stu...not so much. These two are not outsiders. In fact, they're part of the popular crowd. They both have attractive girlfriends. They come from well-to-do families. They've suffered no special traumas. Billy might be bummed about his parent's divorce but in the end, life is pretty good for him. And from what we see of Stu's life - it all looks like gravy. I mean, look at the friggin' house he lives in:


And yet these privileged kids have no qualms about murdering their friends.


Billy and Stu are chilling characters and Ulrich and Kennedy tear it up once the masks come off. Some might say that Lillard shamelessly overacts but I love his performance - especially as it escalates in Scream's final act. He's seldom given enough credit as being one of the great screen psychos. He's scary and pathetic all at once. There's something that rings appallingly true about the way he's capable of coldly butchering - or at the least, being an accomplice in butchering - people that he's known for years but snivels when wounded himself and whines at the thought of his crimes being exposed to his parents. Stu can't conceive of the pain of others, no matter how great, but is acutely sensitive to his own suffering, no matter how minor. That's a true sociopath and Billy has the same dead soul to match.


Finally, Craven and co. hit gold when they discovered the Ghostface mask.


Just as Halloween wouldn't have been the same had Tommy Lee Wallace not pimped out a William Shatner mask, Scream wouldn't have succeeded if that Ghostface mask not been found at one of the film's locations - left behind by the grandchildren of the home's owners. Even after it's been parodied in the Scary Movie satires, I still find that mask to be incredibly creepy. As slasher disguises go, I consider it second only to Michael Myers' mask in being able to conjure an instant feeling of unease.


For some horror fans, Scream will always be disdained. It revitalized the genre but that failed to earn it much gratitude. It's too clueless about the horror and slasher conventions it seeks to knowingly tweak to be a great film in my book but it does kick a little ass here and there. If nothing else, it's miles better than Behind the Mask: The Rise of Leslie Vernon (2006), a post-modern slasher film so inane makes Scream positively shine in comparison. Horror fans like Behind the Mask a lot because, you know, it seems to be made just for them but in this case, I'll side with all the teenage girls who go for Scream.

"The One I Might've Saved"

Blogger extraordinaire and all-around mystery man ‘Arbogast’ put out a suggestion recently for fellow bloggers to write about “one they might’ve saved” – to select a single horror movie victim that they would choose to snatch away from their tragic end. In mulling over the question, it occurred to me just how many deaths in horror movies have moved me over the years. Horror films are often accused of desensitizing their audience to suffering but I’ve found it to be just the opposite. I’m such a bleeding heart, in fact, that I couldn’t just stick to my top choice and instead went with a list of ten characters.

Over the years, scores of characters in horror films have died appalling deaths. Some by elaborate means, some involving primal fears like drowning or being buried alive. Some have died alone in darkness and some within the false safety of a crowd. And many have died begging for their lives. But in trying to determine who I'd save, I realized that it wasn't so much about the details of their demises or how much pain we watch them endure - some of my picks' last moments occurred off-camera - but the sense that a vibrant life was senselessly snuffed out when all it would've taken to save them was a nudge in another direction.

So here’s ten characters that, given the chance, I would’ve tried to rescue:

10. Kate Miller (Dressed To Kill, 1980)

At least just prior to her death in Psycho, Marion Crane was able to enjoy a cathartic moment in which she seemed to be literally cleansing herself of her sins. But as her cinematic counterpart in Brian DePalma's Psycho riff, Angie Dickinson's sexually frustrated housewife Kate Miller enjoys an afternoon tryst only to learn - thanks to a doctor’s report she inadvertently comes across in the man's apartment - that the fellow museum goer she impulsively hopped into bed with has been diagnosed with syphilis and gonorrhea. And that’s the last demeaning discovery Kate makes in this life as her next stop is the elevator in which she’s slashed to death by her cross-dressing therapist, played by Michael Caine.

Whatever personal failings Kate Miller might've had as a wife and mother, I just don't believe that anybody deserves to be killed by Michael Caine in drag.

9. Karen White (The Howling, 1981)

When it comes to modern werewolf movies, most horror fans line up at the altar of An American Werewolf in London. But for me, it's always been about The Howling. And a big part of the appeal of Joe Dante's movie lies with Dee Wallace Stone's performance as TV anchorwoman Karen White. That her on-air self-sacrifice on behalf of the truth at the film's conclusion ("I'm going to show you something...to make you believe!") goes unappreciated (they cut to a dog food commercial!) makes me wish she hadn't taken a bullet for a viewership unequipped to see her death as anything but an accomplished special effect.

8. Casey Becker (Scream, 1996)

The most heartbreaking detail of the opening scene in Scream is when Drew Barrymore's fatally stabbed Casey Becker removes her killer’s mask. Knowing that she recognizes who's done this to her but not being able to comprehend why this person has chosen to end her life makes her death especially poignant.

7. Annie Hayworth (The Birds, 1963)

As a kid, I thought Suzanne Pleshette was incredibly cool as schoolteacher Annie Hayworth and yet there was an underlying melancholy to the character in that this whip-smart woman had forsaken any chance at a full romantic life by continuing to live in Bodega Bay to pine away for Mitch Brenner. Annie's death is gut-wrenching, even though we never see it on camera. Just young Cathy Brenner's description of her teacher's final act of heroism is vivid enough:

"...All at once, the birds were everywhere. All at once, she pushed me inside and they covered her. Annie...she pushed me inside!"

6. Tracy Mills (Seven, 1995)

Thanks to Seven's instant entry into the pop culture lexicon, "What's in the box?" became fair game for parody material but I still feel sick at Tracy Mills' fate. This was a character that would’ve been so easy to save, if only anyone had suspected she was in danger.



5. Joanna Eberhart (The Stepford Wives, 1975)

I was confounded by the decision on the part of the filmmakers behind 2004's Stepford Wives remake to turn it into a tongue-in-cheek spoof. Even though the original had its share of dark humor, William Goldman's script (based on Ira Levin's novel) never sold Joanna's sadness short. It’s one of those movies where I can’t help but want to intervene on the heroine's behalf as - in collusion with her callow husband - the Stepford Men's plans for Joanna (well played by Katharine Ross) come to their fruition.

4. Maureen Coyle (Psycho III, 1986)

Entering into a romantic relationship with Norman Bates and then paying a lethal price for it might be considered by some to be a classic case of getting what you asked for (as no nonsense private investigator Tracy Venable says when she sees what's become of Maureen: "You dumb, stupid, naive girl..."). But I think the fragile romance that develops here between Norman and Diana Scarwid’s nun on the run could've gone the distance.

3. Alex Kintner (Jaws, 1975)

One of the most indelible moments in Jaws remains the sight of a shredded inflatable raft nudging against the shore, sans the young boy who was just on it moments before. When they say that Jaws kept people out of the water, for me they were talking exclusively about this scene. To see this boy ripped apart just a few feet away from shore and practically within arm's length of the other swimmers crowding the water deeply scared me as a kid. And really, this is a character that shouldn't have needed to be saved in the first place. If Sheriff Brody had been allowed to do his job, rather than play political ball, the beaches would've been closed.

After all, they knew there was a shark out there.

2. Becky (Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer, 1986)

It's true that some women have terrible instincts for choosing men, but they shouldn’t have to die for it. Tracy Arnold gives such a sensitive performance as Becky in Henry that she deflects the instinct to regard her as being too dumb to live. Instead, her decent heart and sincere interest in shy Henry make her uncommonly sympathetic. There could’ve been a modest future for this girl, if only she had been able to recognize Henry as a sociopath rather than mistaking him for a gentleman. In a film filled with wasted lives and butchered bodies, it's the final sight of a suitcase left like garbage on the side of the road as Henry drives off alone that proves he only has room for death in his heart.

1. Ruth Mayer (The Brood, 1979)

While it's the abused Candy Carveth who really needs to be saved in David Cronenberg's The Brood, it was the death of elementary school teacher Ruth Mayer that left me traumatized when I saw this film at an early age. When the Brood invade Ruth's classroom looking to bring Candy back to her mother at the Psycho-Plasmics institute, it seems as though the strong, capable Ruth (played by Susan Hogan) ought to be able to fend off their attack. After all, the Brood's sole previous victims were an old man and woman, both caught alone (and both slightly drunk) and unprepared to defend themselves.

But when Ruth becomes so quickly overwhelmed by the Brood, it's a devastating death. The sight of a classroom full of sobbing children standing over the battered body of their murdered teacher is just too heartbreaking.

And Cronenberg really twists the knife when Art Hindle as Candy's dad Frank rushes in to see Ruth's dead body splayed awkwardly on the classroom floor. Frank grabs the first thing he can to cover Ruth's bloody face and lifeless eyes - a crayon drawing with these words scrawled across it in a child's hand: "We Plant Pumpkin Seeds."

My thanks to Arbogast for inspiring me to reflect on the many horror movie victims whose deaths left such an impression on me.

And in closing, I'd like to give a shout out to my original "One I Might've Saved":

When I first saw The Blob as a kid, I just wanted to reach through the TV screen and knock that stick out of the old man's hands. Six simple words could've saved this idiot's life:

"Put it down, you damn fool!"

Sorry man, I really wish I could've been there for ya.