247 Words About Black Christmas

Bob Clark's seminal slasher, Black Christmas (1974), is a film that I've only owned on VHS - a fact that I'm reminded of every year as I prepare to watch it again come Christmas time and realize that I still haven't upgraded this classic to DVD. While I haven't rewatched the film yet this season, in taking out the tape today I was reminded of the main reason I love old VHS tapes so much - the descriptive text on the back covers. Up through the mid-'80s, a surprising amount of care and attention was given to what was written on video boxes.

Somewhere along the line, companies started to simplify what was written about their films, reducing word count and usually limiting back cover descriptions to a terse plot description and a vacuous critical blurb. But in the early days of VHS, there was an art to writing the copy that accompanied these tapes. I don't know if they were done in-house at the respective studios or whether the assignments were farmed out to freelance writers but whoever was responsible for penning the text for the backs of these tape sleeves (at least those done for studio releases) showed an effort to write in an interesting fashion and to say something informative as well.

In the pic above, it's impossible to read the print but let me quote from it:

"Black Christmas is a stark and stylish exercise in suspense that turns everyone's favorite time of year inside out. Olivia Hussey and Margot Kidder star as two among an ill-fated handful of sorority sisters celebrating the season and semester's end when an obscene phone call interrupts the festivities. The caller rings off with a death threat, which proves all too real. Is the killer a brilliant music student (Keir Dullea) who has gotten one of the women pregnant? No one is sure. And no one can stop the deadly calls preceding the attacks.

Predating Halloween and Friday the 13th by several years, Black Christmas effectively laid the groundwork for the murder thrillers that would follow through its clever interplay of tension, shocks - and humor. Producer/director Bob Clark earned his reputation as a hitmaker for the first two Porky's films, but here works in a vein closer to his highly-applauded Sherlock Holmes caper Murder By Decree, exploring the underside of the holiday he so affectionately - and somewhat sardonically - celebrated in the jovial A Christmas Story.

So have yourself a scary little Black Christmas. It's not at all like the ones you used to know."

That's a nicely done write-up - nothing Pulitzer-worthy, but indicative of the kind of lively, informed text that could be commonly found on VHS tapes back then. Today, when it comes to DVDs it's completely bare bones but in the early days of VHS, it's clear that they got real writers and real film fans on board to help guide prospective viewers. It might be a silly thing to fixate on but when I read the backs of these old boxes, I think it's touching in a way to realize that as this new industry of home entertainment was taking off, that customers were assumed to be real film buffs - or at least film buffs in the making - and that any film released on this new format deserved to have something substantial said about it.

Of course, this was all years before the days of DVDs loaded with special features. Back then, the back cover text was the special feature. And while it was all the service of moving product, looking back I realize that these back covers were (sadly) some of the first instances where I read about modern horror movies in a context that was scholarly and appreciative rather than condescending.

So to those uncredited writers who contributed their efforts to the early days of VHS, I say 'thanks.' You all had a way with words.