Don't Try To Tell Me This Isn't Cool

Some things are just awesome and there's no debating it. Like the above cover to Marvel Team-Up #15. Seriously, what's not to love about that? Illustrated by the cream of the crop likes of Gil Kane and John Romita Jr., this has got bad assedness burned into every line.

Ghost Rider staying just ahead of an onrushing subway train, trying to pick up a dazed Spidey before they're both crushed by however many tons of screaming metal are bearing down on them? Daaamn!! And it could all be originally had for the low cost of 0.20? I practically consider that stealing!

Even by the '80s, covers like this had already fallen out of fashion in comics in favor of less hyperventilating depictions of excitement (no more words balloons with breathless exclamations like "Good Lord! I'll never stop this train -- in time!") and, for the life of me, I don't know why.

It's the same with horror movie posters. Once they reeked of hyperbole and promised lurid entertainment but that kind of zealous hucksterism became considered...I don't know...cheesy? Again, I don't get it. Why would you ever think that making something less awesome is better? It's enough to make you throw up your hands in exasperation.

Now, it should be said that the comic behind this cover isn't so hot. Scripted by Len Wein with art by Ross Andru (the most unsung Spidey artist of them all), "If An Eye Offend Thee..." is the somewhat routine account of Peter Parker and Mary Jane, both out at Madison Square Garden to see Ghost Rider's Motorcycle Extravaganza when Peter has to ditch MJ to help out as Spidey as the Ghost Rider tangles with The Orb and his motorcycle minions. It's servicable enough as team-ups go...just not nearly as gripping as the cover would suggest.

But hey, that cover is tough to live up to. The world is full of many things created by man that remind you of the madcap majesty that some gifted souls are capable of. Things that make you go "Wow, that's something!" Or words to that effect. The ceiling of the Sistine Chapel, the Great Pyramids...and the cover to Marvel Team-Up #15.

Marvel Costume Cavalcade

The above pic is of the first Halloween costume I ever wore - well, not the exact costume itself but the same model, as issued by famed costume supplier Ben Cooper, Inc. - so I think I know a little something about how to dress like a proper Marvel superhero (looking back at this costume for the first time in decades, I'm guessing that the puzzling addition of yellow to a Spidey suit was strictly a safety consideration for young trick or treaters). That means the release today of pics from both the upcoming Spider-Man reboot and the Captain America film has got me ready to give my expert opinion.

First, Captain America:

Cap is a tricky character to get right (just see the Albert Pyun-directed 1990 film for evidence of that) but everything I've seen about this movie makes me think that Joe Johnston and co. have nailed it. I think the costume as seen in this pic is note-perfect. It closely follows artist Bryan Hitch's redesign of the Cap uniform as seen in the Ultimate Universe with just a few tweaks. By incorporating a more military feel to the traditional Cap costume, Hitch was able to shed some of the inherent goofiness of Cap's look while still honoring its iconic essentials. It doesn't surprise me that the makers of Captain America have decided to follow that direction in the film and it also doesn't surprise me how perfectly that look translates to live-action. If I had to grade this, just look to the 'A' on Cap's helmet.

Now, Spidey:

Eeerrr...this is the first look of Andrew Garfield as Spidey and I've got mixed feelings about it. Based on this stand alone pic, I think Garfield is definitely the right guy for the part on a physical level. He's got the right gangly look and I like that director Marc Webb hasn't tried to bulk him up they way Raimi did with Tobey Maguire.

But the costume...if this is really the final costume and not just the early version that Peter wears during his short-lived stint as a wrestler, let's just say that it's going to take some getting used to. Say what you will about the Raimi films, one thing they should be applauded for is getting the classic Spidey costume on screen. You'd think that would be a no-brainer, as the original red and blue Spidey suit (designed by Jack Kirby, not early Spidey artist Steve Ditko) is so classic that it seems dumb to tamper with it. Clearly, though, others feel differently.

With the Raimi films already proving the case for Spidey's classic duds, obviously what you want to do for your semi-controversial reboot is goof around with the costume for no apparent reason. I don't want to complain too much without knowing whether this is really the main outfit that Garfield is wearing but it's got some serious lameness going on. I don't think Flash Thompson would be such a big Spidey booster if ol' Web-Head wore an outfit like this in the comics. On the upside, at least it's not the CG shit that Warners and Martin Campbell have stupidly saddled Green Lantern with. And also, it's still red and blue so thumbs-up for that. On the downside, what is up with the fucked-up Spider emblem? It looks more like a Rorschach blot than a spider. And why does the web design on the chest just kind of dribble-drabble away as it travels down to his torso? It's Spider-Man so why be half-hearted about sporting the webs? And what's going on with the gloves? Not too crazy about what I see there, no sir.

As some have pointed out, there's a hint that Garfield may be wearing mechanical web-shooters as you can glimpse something metallic on his wrists. If that's the case, I'm jazzed. I didn't hate the organic shooters at all but as a fan, I'd be pumped to see them go old-school and bring the classic mechanical shooters to the big screen.

All nit-picking aside, I'm still on board with the new Spidey flick. If that's the final costume we're seeing (sans mask), I can live with it if everything else is up to par. I might even come to love it if the movie around it is good enough. But looking at the two pics that have come out today and comparing how immediately classic Cap looks to the "eh, I guess it's ok" way that Spidey looks, it does make me wish that all of Marvel's properties would revert back to their control.

And yes, when they get around to making a Dr. Strange movie, I do want him to look like this:

A Web Too Far

If I keep commenting on Spider-Man news, I should probably change the name of this blogspot to Dinner with Peter Parker but what can I say - I'm a web-head from way back. To hear the news this week that Sam Raimi had officially parted ways with Sony, leaving Spider-Man 4 as an unfulfilled project, gave me a tinge of sadness. My son isn't old enough to have seen any of the Spidey films in the theaters but he's seen them all on DVD and I really wanted to take him to see 'his' Spider-Man in the theaters next year. Oh well, at least we'll be on the ground floor together for the next guy to don the webs. And it'll be in 3-D, more than likely, so that's pretty bad-ass.

It's become fashionable in geek circles to bash Raimi's Spidey films because 3 was something of a letdown (personally I thought that, flaws aside, that last film was still more good than bad) but Raimi deserves enormous credit for bringing the web-slinger to the screen over the course of three films with as much faithfulness to the source material as he did. I'm sure at many points in the development process on that first trip to the screen, it was even in question as to whether the classic red and blue costume would make the journey to live-action and for that, and many other choices that Raimi likely fought hard for, he deserves a huge thanks.

Sure, Raimi's Spidey trilogy wasn't perfect but no one vision of Spider-Man on film is going to completely jibe with each fan's perception of what the ideal adaptation should be. The organic web-shooters was a touch I thought was inspired (credit for that goes to James Cameron's original scriptment) and the heavy emphasis on Peter Parker's emotional life, rather than gunning for all-out action, was true to the soap opera elements of the comic. Villain-wise, Raimi broke even with Doc Ock and Sandman being outstanding (even if Sandman could've used more screen time), Venom being dismal, and The Green Goblin overcoming a goofy outfit (to be fair, the Power Rangers upgrade Raimi went with isn't any goofier than the GG of the comics - I mean, honestly, the guy carries a purse and has purple booties!) thanks to the inspired scenery chewing of William Dafoe. And while some can quibble with the casting choice of Maguire or Kristen Dunst (my own casting issue was with Bill Nunn's Robbie Robertson - a good actor but too paunchy to resemble the classic Robbie from the comics), no one can say that J.K. Simmons wasn't THE perfect J. Jonah Jameson. Like Judi Densch's M in the Bond films, I believe that Simmons' JJJ should be the one cast member to make the transition over to the reboot.

As for the reboot itself, I'm all for it. Spider-Man 4 or no, Maguire is getting too long in the tooth to play the perennially youthful Spidey. And while the resetting of the Spidey movie-verse back to high school has some fans crying, and even believing that Sony is cynically chasing the Twilight crowd, I don't get the uproar - classic Spidey is a high school character. Why not bring him back to high school if you're going to reset the series? I do agree with the general consensus that a retelling of the origin story should be bypassed - this reboot needs to hit the ground running rather than backpedal.

It's too early on in the process to comment on Sony's plans because so little information has been released but my hope is that the new film will place on emphasis on fun, that it'll buck the darkening trend of the comic adaptation landscape (fine for a character like Batman but a bad fit for Spidey), and that Peter Parker will break into tears much less. I'm all for Peter showing some emotions but Raimi turned the character into a sobbing wreck a few times too many for my taste. In terms of villains, I expect they'll be going after a new version of either Green Goblin or Doc Ock (pumpkin bombs and mechanical tentacles would both look sick in 3-D, by the way). Even though they've both been done so recently, I think it's hard to kick off a Spidey series without using one of the character's two main villains. There's plenty of classic Spidey villains that have yet to make the jump to the big screen but foes like Scorpion, The Rhino or Mysterio seem like sequel material to me. Oh, and how about calling the new movie The Amazing Spider-Man? That'd be cool.

Finally, with all the activity on the Spider-Man front, what I really want to know is why hasn't anybody released the classic '80s cartoon Spider-Man And His Amazing Friends or the '70s live-action Spider-Man TV show on DVD yet? I mean, come on - both these series introduced generations of kids to Spidey and encourged them to follow his exploits in the comics. Even though they have some serious, serious cheese issues, you'd think it'd be a natural to release them. Every time a new Spider-Man film came out, I kept expecting to hear a DVD announcement on one or both of these properties but maybe the reboot will finally be the right occasion. Or maybe they're tangled in a legal web so great that even Spidey - and his lawyers - can't undo it.

On A Wing And A Prayer

Followers of both Spider-Man and director Sam Raimi, who has shepherded the web-slinger's movie adventures to date, got some troubling news this week with reports that Sony and Raimi are at an apparent gridlock over who the villain should be in Spider-Man 4. Raimi wants to use the old-school baddie The Vulture while the studio doesn't know what it wants - except that it doesn't want The Vulture.

Now, even the most ardent admirers of the original Lee/Ditko Spidey villains probably aren't jumping up and down at the prospect of seeing The Vulture on screen. After all, he's an old guy who flies - how exciting is that? I mean, after seeing The Green Goblin, Doc Ock, the Sandman, and Venom - all villains with pretty neat sets of powers - make their live-action debuts, The Vulture seems to be a big "so what?" But the more I think about it, the more I think that everyone - besides Raimi - is selling The Vulture's cinematic potential short. The possibilities for dizzying, vertiginous ariel battles would be ideal for Raimi to realize and instead of just an old coot flapping his wings, Raimi's Vulture could be a sleeker, swifter, more stealth presence - a villain that can strike with lightning speed, dive bombing his prey from great heights. And from a character standpoint, I think it'd be interesting to show someone who is feeble and nonthreatening on the ground that becomes lethal in the sky.

If Raimi has it in his head that The Vulture is his guy, then I have to think he's already got big plans for how he wants to use him. And the news that John Malkovich is cast sounds perfect. He's younger than the Vulture of the comics, but then again, if you cast the Vulture to look as old as he does in the books, he'd have to be one step away from a pile of dust. You'd have to cast Abe Vigoda, basically.

In the wake of bar-raising critical and commercial success of The Dark Knight, and given the general dissatisfaction with how Spider-Man 3 turned out, I have to imagine Raimi wants to come back to Spidey in a big way and restore some luster to the franchise. If Sony would only relent and let Raimi go with the high-flying Vulture, I have a feeling that the sky could be the limit.

A Monster Called...Morbius!

Since Spider-Man 3 failed to live up to most expectations (I liked it just fine myself), Sam Raimi's geek credibility has faltered, even though he previously made two very well-recieved Spidey films (in regards to the kneejerk nature of nerd affections I always have refer back to a Mayor Quimby line from The Simpsons - "You're all a bunch of fickle mushheads!") but with the right storyline for Spider-Man 4, I believe he could find himself back in the good graces of fandom.

Over at CHUD, there's a link to a Raimi interview in which Raimi mentioned his fondness for the character of Michael Morbius, aka Morbius: The Living Vampire. Will Morbius really make it to the screen? I doubt it - but if it did, the blend of horror and superheroics would make a perfect match with Raimi's sensibilities and if he seriously wants Morbius to square off with Spidey, I hope he'll turn his attention to the first Morbius storyline that spanned Amazing Spider-Man issues #100-#102 - penned by Stan Lee himself.

Issue #100 was Spidey's big anniversary issue and to mark the occasion Stan had Peter Parker experiencing feelings of ennui towards his web-headed alter-ego. The title of the issue was "The Spider or the Man?" and as Peter contemplates a future life with his lady love Gwen Stacey, he realizes that it may be time to stop being Spider-Man for good. The last time he hung up his webs was back in issue #50 but this time he wasn't just going to throw his costume in the trash, this time he had come up with a formula that he hoped would wipe out his spider-powers once and for all.

Once he takes the serum, he lays down to let it take effect. He falls into a delirious dream in which he encounters all the foes he's vanquished over the years. And all the while, he feels a throbbing pain in his sides. When he wakes up, the pain is still there, worse than ever. With dawning horror, he realizes the awful truth: while the serum had been intended to take away his spider-powers, it has made him even more like a spider. Subsequently, four new arms burst from Peter's sides, giving him six arms and providing the series with its wildest cliffhanger to date.

When events pick up in issue #101, Peter is not in the best shape. He's terrified of being discovered in this state and makes a desperate call to Dr. Curt Conners, aka The Lizard, who readily offers Spidey the use of his home in Florida, no questions asked. And not far from the section of the Florida coastline where Connors' house sits (a gloomy number that's a dead ringer for the Bates house in Psycho), a doomed ship is ending its final voyage.

The ship in question bears the strange passenger known as Michael Morbius. Through flashbacks we learn that he was once a brilliant scientist working to cure himself of a rare blood disease. He was conducting this research on his own boat, which was equipped with a sophisticated lab. On board with him was his wife and best friend. The experiment - involving a vampire bat, natch - went wrong and within minutes, Morbius was draining the blood from his friend. Unable to resist his urge, he nearly drank from his wife as well but what was left of his humanity forced him to throw himself over the side of the ship, where he was eventually rescued by a passing industrial ship.

Here the story becomes a riff on Dracula and the voyage of the Demeter where the ship's strange passenger kills everyone on board. At this point, Morbius abandons ship and he finds himself washing up on the doorstep of Conners' home - the kind of coincidence that makes life in comic books so much fun.

Once inside, Morbius sees the six-armed Spider-Man working feverishly in the lab. Puzzled by the bizarre sight but needing to feed, he pounces on Spidey, leading to a pitched battle in which Spidey needs all six of his arms to keep Morbius at bay. In the middle of the melee, Curt Conners shows up looking to help Spidey with his research. The sudden strain of seeing what's happening brings on his transformation into the scaly horror known as The Lizard.

The issue ends with a face-off that'd be the envy of any monster movie, as a six-armed Spidey is caught between his reptilian arch-foe and the vampire who wants his blood.


As issue #102 opens, Morbius is beaten back by the tag-team of Spidey and the Lizard (who attacks Morbius only because he refuses to let anyone kill Spider-Man but himself) but not before Morbius takes a small bite out of the Lizard (beggars, apparently, can't be choosers). But due to the Lizard's thick hide, Morbius' fangs can only puncture so much. In the process of taking blood, he ends up passing some sort of enzyme onto Conners, which causes Conners to transform back to his human form but only halfway, leaving him as a hybrid of Conners and the Lizard.

Eventually it all boils down to Spidey and the Lizard needing to get Morbius back so they can draw his blood not only to restore Conners but Morbius' blood might also hold the solution to Spidey's dilemma as well.

Even though circumstances demand that Spidey and the Lizard join forces, Conners frequently loses control of his scaly side and Spidey finds himself trying to keep his new partner from killing him. The terrifying twosome manage to track Morbius to New York City where he's continuing to satisfy his unholy thirst on any and all victims.

In a climatic three way free-for-all, Spidey, The Lizard and Morbius battle above the streets of NY. Morbius' blood is eventually taken, although he desperately fights to retrieve the stolen vial from the hands of his enemies. As the issue ends, The Lizard is cured but Morbius snatches the last vial before it can be put in a syringe and administered to Spidey. He flies off with Spidey in pursuit, eventually colliding with a bridge and plunging into the cold river below. From a nearby garbage scow, Spidey fires a webline to rescue Morbius but only snags the vial from Morbius' hand as it disappears below the water.

An exhausted Spidey sees no sign of Morbius. He grips the vial as he stares out over the still water, delivering words that could've only come from the pen of Stan Lee: "Things...somehow we always manage to hold on to things...while men sink, doomed around us." Conners then successfully administers the cure to Spidey. He's beaten his monstrous side, as has Conners, while Morbius was tragically consumed by his.

So...there's a Spidey saga that Raimi could really knock out the park. Sure, you'd have to re-purpose it for the Spidey movie universe with MJ instead of Gwen and you'd have to work in the Lizard's origin as well (easy enough) but you've got a storyline with a vampire, the Lizard and a six-armed Spidey all locked in mortal battle - what could be better? Raimi would have a field day with the visual elements plus there's a strong moral angle with conflicted villains - which Raimi has purposely looked to incorporate into his three Spidey films to date. Man, I'd love to see it happen. Unfortunately, I'm betting that Sony wouldn't be so keen on the idea of its hero sporting six arms throughout most of the movie. Still, I bet Raimi would really run with it if given the chance. He's already made an action movie with a monster as the hero (Darkman) - it'd be great to have him be able to do it again with an icon like Spider-Man forced to become a freak.

It's all just a pipe dream, of course - it's far too weird a turn for a blockbuster franchise - but I think it's the Spider-Man film that Raimi was born to make.