Sorority Row

If My Bloody Valentine (1981) is regarded as a second-tier slasher film, then the little-seen shocker House on Sorority Row (1983) is third-tier, at best. That's not a knock against its quality, just an acknowledgement that outside of diehard slasher fans hardly anyone is aware that it exists. Few viewers under the age of thirty (or even many of those over that age) who attend Sorority Row this weekend will have any clue that they're watching a remake. And for those that do know the original, they'll see as a remake in name only. Outside of its college setting and the fact that its sorority sister protagonists try to cover up an accidental murder, the two films are completely different.

I liked this remake quite a bit - about as much as I did My Bloody Valentine 3-D. If you liked that movie, you might like this one too. In both cases, I find it ironic that lesser slasher films like MBV and HoSR were better served by their remakes than slasher royalty like Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Halloween, and Friday the 13th were. With both MBV 3-D and Sorority Row, neither are great films but they display an understanding of what slasher fans enjoy about the genre and they aren't pitched outside of that audience. As a slasher fan, I'm ok with that.

Sorority Row director Stewart Hendler is clearly capable but he's smart enough to not forget that he's making a formula film. Writers Josh Stolberg and Peter Goldfinger likewise give their characters plenty of acerbic, funny lines to throw at each other (the biggest bitch of the sorority, Leah Pipes, is especially good) but in regards to its plotting Sorority Row follows the same story beats as any other slasher film. If you feel like you've had it with slasher films, then this won't change your mind. Personally, I had a lot of fun with it. Some people have a special affection for Westerns, or musicals, or war pictures. I like slasher movies. Those are the films that were huge when I was really getting into horror and they'll always hold a nostalgic appeal to me. And when a new film like Sorority Row gets the formula right, I consider that a good time at the movies.

Click over to Shock Till You Drop for my full review.

Theta Pi Must Die

The teaser poster for Sorority Row has been released and it looks like the film's stylized weapon - a modified tire iron - is going to be a focus of the movie's campaign. Seeing as this is usually the type of film that would be looking to exploit its attractive cast of young women first and emphasize its slasher element second, I'm good with this teaser poster. It definitely looks better than any of the posters that have been released so far for Rob Zombie's Halloween 2. It's a sad day when Michael Myers is less exciting than a tire iron but as a slasher fan I'm more jazzed by the sight of a pimped out weapon that promises some inventive slaughter than I am of a dude who looks like he ought to be pushing a shopping cart full of cans.

2009: Year Of the Tire Iron

If the kick-ass trailer for the remake of 1983's House on Sorority Row is a fair indication of the movie's quality, then 2009 will be the year the tire iron will become the weapon that slasher fans can't stop talking about. It's the new machete!

Seriously, though, I'm shocked at how promising this looks. I understand that to some it might look like a formula slasher picture, not worth getting excited over. But if you're the type of person who gets excited about slasher films in the first place, then this trailer is more than likely going to give you a new reason to live. I didn't expect that the remake of House on Sorority Row would look capable of blowing the remakes of My Bloody Valentine and Friday the 13th out of the water but I think we've got a real contender on our hands. The only thing that could tank my enthusiasm is if it wasn't R. PG-13 is fine for some projects but slasher films should always be R, otherwise they're a waste of time. And in the eyes of this old-school slasher fanatic, this looks like anything but a waste of time.

SORORITY ROW trailer in HD