Thursday, September 6, 2012

Here Comes The Broom

I have to say, I've been a little worried about myself lately. You see, for the first time since I've been old enough to get to a movie theater on my own, I skipped a new horror movie. If I tell you that movie was The Apparition, you might say "Duh, why wouldn't you skip it?" But that's the thing - I don't usually show that level of adult discretion. If a new horror film opens, I'm there - regardless of whether I suspect that it might not be the second coming of The Exorcist. I'm all about going into each movie with the intent to enjoy it for whatever it's worth. Sometimes a movie will break me of those intentions (I'm looking at you, Creature) but I'm always ready for the next ride.

With The Apparition, though, I just couldn't bring myself to go. You'd think that given how dry the summer has been horror-wise, I would've jumped at it but with The Possession due in theaters the following week, it didn't seem worth breaking the horror drought for the lesser of the two films. While that may seem like the sensible move, I've never been about being sensible when it comes to being a devoted horror geek. The fact that I couldn't be bothered to see The Apparition left me just a little bummed. I showed an ability to not waste my time with a movie that was almost certainly a piece of garbage and that uncommon act of willpower made me think I had turned a corner in my life. I was finally a discriminating, clear-eyed genre connoisseur - something I actually never really wanted to be.

Luckily, unexpected salvation arrived for me this week in the form of the trailer for Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters.

As soon as I laid eyes on this trailer and felt an involuntary rush of excitment at - among other things - the sight of witches on brooms flying into a zig zag of wires stretched across trees, I knew that my experience with The Apparition had been nothing more than a fluke. Most people will look at this trailer and, with good reason, ask "Who would ever go see this shit?" while I'm grinning in giddy anticipation.

Yes, I have a strong hunch that it won't be such a great movie. Hell, let's be honest - it looks like a complete train wreck. But what fun is there in making such an obvious observation?

Some might say people like myself are fools, rushing headlong to see films we know full well will be disasters and, you know, they'd have a point. But on the other hand I take comfort in the fact that a lifetime of seeing bad movies hasn't made me into a cynic.

I probably made the right call about The Apparition, though.


Mummbles said...

This one looks like it could be decent, hoping that they go with a lot of atmosphere over CGI. I think the trailer for Sinister looked good too, have you seen that one yet?

Jeff Allard said...

I have - it looks terrific.

Unknown said...

I felt the same way about The Apparition, but if it wasn't for my girlfriend vehemently opposing it, I would have gone to the theaters to see it anyway.

Timmy Crabcakes said...

Yeah, see, this is part of why I continue to read your writings with glee.
I'm a sour-nosed snob about a lot of things and yet your enthusiasm has time and again brought be to films that I otherwise would have avoided or approached much more slowly.
I don't always love what you love (superhero movies), but without you I'd probably have had a lot less fun.

So yeah, please don't lose those rose colored glasses and willingness to dive in head first.
For me you're kind of like that friend that coaxes and cajoles me into going to the party... even though I'm feeling anti-social and would rather stay home and read... but deep down I know I might have fun, and usually do.

Jeff Allard said...

Ryne, your girlfriend probably spared you some agony. I have to say, though, if the movie's still playing into next week I might break down and check it out!

Knob, thanks for the kind words! I'm happy to remain a cheerleader for potentially crummy movies!